Happy Mother’s Day; 100 Days of Happy Starts Now.

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” Abraham Lincoln

Today is Mother’s Day. To me, it is simply a reminder that mine is no longer here…

My family and I will be going on the third anniversary of her passing in July. It has gotten easier as time goes by. The only exception is when there is a whole day dedicated to all the moms in the world. There are plenty of other wonderful mommies that are in my life. I am glad to know all of them and love all of them dearly, but I would give anything just to hang out with my Mama

If you know me well, I hardly go to church. I knew that Mother’s Day was coming up and planned to go and light a candle for my mom because I was unable to visit her grave today. My siblings and I were her most prized possessions, and she talked about us when she could. I woke up really early, dressed up nicely, and had a few moments to pay my respect towards the one person that brought me into this world. I did as much as I possibly could for her to make her proud.

I honestly wanted to do my best in trying to get through the day because it was going to be a bit difficult with everything everywhere about mothers. She would have asked me over a month ago what I would be getting her and to take extra time off so my visit would be longer, but I did cry a couple of times throughout the day simply because I love and miss her that much.

There are no words to explain that missing part of my life that I want back. I am very lucky to have a family as close as mine. Other people do find it a little odd when I mention how close we all are, but I think that is what makes us unique. I am truly grateful and very blessed that I grew up with such an amazing mom.

Last year, I spent Mother’s Day visiting home. I did not have that luxury this year, so I had no idea what to expect without being around my family. I did make sure to have some plans throughout the day. It was to be at the church early in the morning, grab a coffee at my current favorite café with a friend, chat with someone about freelancing, and then help out a bit at Farmer’s Market. Distractions were necessary, and people surprised me with the sweetest things that I did not expect at all.

I am not going to lie, but 2014 has been a rough year so far. The one good thing that I love is how fortunate I am to have met so many genuinely kind people this year. It is definitely something I am not used to, but it was nice to be told so many nice things. All the kindness, smiles, and care made me feel so much better by the time I got home.

The whole experience I had today has made me realize that it is okay to be sad, yet there is a lot to be happy about. Some people got to hear about my mom, and I got to hear about others’.

It does not matter whether yours has passed, the relationship is estranged, or you are not nearly as close to mom as I was to mine. I sincerely hope you have somebody in your life that has made a huge impact on you that makes you want to do awesome things for them. That is what matters more, and it comes from the heart.

I am pretty young and idealistic, but nothing beats feeling happy.

Always,
Diana

It’s Time to Get Back to Writing

Happy Wednesday!

I know that I have been pretty MIA from the blogging world for a while now, and a lot has happened in the year of 2014.

There are no updates in terms of relationships, but there are two news flashes I need to share. One is that I officially moved out of the boring old suburbia neighborhood of Mira Mesa over to the ever-growing hipster are of South Park in San Diego. The other is that I got let go from my former company back in late January.

The move was the best decision I ever made since living in San Diego. It has definitely made being let go a lot easier because I somewhat have a better support system now. I was not really in shock, but I was pretty heartbroken over the idea of not having a job. I am still looking and not having a job saddens me all the time. It is incredibly frustrating when others consistently ask me how the job hunt is. There is probably a long list of profanities I would rather use, but it honestly sucks.

I have had three really weak moments since unemployment. As much as I did not want to, I broke down crying because my heart was just broken. I did know that not having a job was going to be difficult and have been handling it pretty well. Sometimes we cannot control what is going on. That is that part that ended up hurting the most.

Job hunting all the time is pretty much a given. Luckily, I have been using my spare time figuring out who I am as a person and seeing what to do with my life. It is still a work in progress. I barely put any effort towards getting into a relationship again. There was one recently, but it is not the best time for either one of us right now.

I think the only reason to why I am writing today is because I am feeling a little upset about not having a job. This is enough of a tangent today. I will do my best to get more updates in with my current sporadic schedule. We will see what happens as the year continues.

Always,
Diana

Weekly Motivation — 5

We all have moments of defeat, and it’s difficult to get back up when we’re knocked down sometimes. I am guilty of doing things on this list. It’s nice to have a little reminder in how to be a better you. This is honestly the best post I’ve come across in a long time.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself | The Best Article Every Day.

I highly recommend for anybody to read it.

Always,
Diana

“Dumped” via Text Message and Happy Thoughts for 2014

Happy 2014! I know I’ve been slacking on my updates, but this is seriously one of the most hilarious things that has ever happened to me. This was the text that I received today after I asked if he wanted to borrow Season One of Game of Thrones.

If you read any of the posts I have made in 2013, I went on a blind date before Thanksgiving. I have nothing against him. He is a nice guy, but he didn’t try at all. Honestly, I felt like I was wasting my time even trying to talk to somebody who made zero effort to hang out. I am not heartbroken at all or feeling sorry for myself.

The only other time we hung out was right after Christmas. I personally didn’t even know that we were “dating.” Does that make me a bad person? I hope I didn’t come off as heartless or anything. It’s a completely sincere reply back. I can’t be in the wrong here.

I just find the situation extremely funny, and I don’t know why. He does get to keep a good guy reputation though. There was a point where I thought I was only attracted to the jerks in the world, and I would never get treated the way I deserve to be treated. It proves he isn’t a jackass. I don’t really care whether his apology is sincere.

It would be fantastic to have a new friend that has the same birthday as me. There were no expectations when I went on the blind date and when we hung out the second time. Everything is perfectly okay, and I’ve been talking to other people anyway. A gal can’t wait forever you know. I am over pleasing other people. Too many people have taken advantage of my kindness and generosity. It’s time to let my inner bitch out!

This year is definitely about making me happy. It may sound selfish, but we all need to find out what makes us happy and stick with it. I am extremely excited about this year, and I hope the feeling lasts. The best part is that I am in a process of moving to a new neighborhood, so there’s a lot of adventure out there for me. It’s in a fantastic location, and I am looking forward to meeting a lot of new people.

A lot of wonderful things has happened since I’ve last posted on here. If I am being truthful, I don’t think I feel heartbroken because I think I might really like another person anyway. I don’t want to give a lot of information away, but here’s a quick blurb about him – He is from Spain and is a Post-Doctoral Fellow. A doctor plus a foreign accent is an instant panty dropper!

Don’t judge me for saying that. I swear that I’m not a gold digger or anything. He is a lot older than my usual potentials, but he is one of the nicest people I have met recently and is probably a lot more real than most. The holidays are the worst when you meet someone new, but thank goodness for technology! Even though there’s a pretty big time difference, we talk to each other a lot even though he went back home for the holidays for two weeks. He got sick right after he got to Spain, and when I mentioned being sick he said he’d rather be sick for me. That was really sweet to say. I think that he might actually be good for me because he is a little older and culturally different from most guys I like.

He’s adorable though. I was surprised when he actually messaged me on New Years at midnight in Spain to tell me it’s a message from 2014 to 2013. I am a little excited that he flies back tomorrow, but I don’t know if we’ll have time to hang out. It’s a little sad, and I’ve even mentioned it to him. In a week, he has to fly out to Taiwan next Monday because he was invited to give a talk there and will be gone for another week. I have a ton of things to do because I am moving. My official move-in date is January 10th, so I’ve scrambled all weekend and will be frantic again during the week with packing. He did offer to help me move, but I refuse to let him.

We will definitely see how things work out, but I think I have gone on enough of a tangent. It’s terrible to keep making promises if they can’t be kept. Hopefully, I will be able to get more posts on this blog. If you have any topic suggestions, feel free to leave a comment. I would love to be able to write a bit more opinionated things!

Always,
Diana

Date Night: Recap.

No filter is exactly what I was going for when I started this project. It’s my one means of communication to talk without being afraid of what to say.

Let’s start with mentioning that I don’t see myself as dating material, and I accepted to go on what’s technically called a blind date. Dating is not my territory. I’ve only really been in long-term relationships that the idea of dating is straight up annoying. There are a ton of serial daters out there, and I try to avoid them like the plague.

Unfortunately,  I came across one recently this year that I’ll discuss another time. I like meeting people with the intention of staying in contact with them. It’s the “mating for life” factor because I  genuinely care about people that I like.

I was really hesitant to go on my date last night and almost talked myself out of going after I got ready and drove all the way out there.

We met at a Cuban place in Point Loma that I’ve never been to. My date never had Cuban food before, and the staff was incredibly sweet and helpful in figuring out what to order. The place has only been opened for about two months, but they have great reviews on Yelp.

He did get points for not only being chivalrous with paying for the meal, but  that we actually split both our orders to share. I only really do that with people who have similar food tastes as me. It was a great surprise to meet someone who is food-venterous. 

It was good that I decided to go anyway. It was nice, but I felt bad because I didn’t have much of an appetite. I had a big lunch and ate the leftovers from the date today. He was the one who mostly ate and liked the food.

I was really glad that he didn’t do anything that made me uncomfortable. My last dating experience was extremely forward and hands-on. I completely understand why that particular relationship ended up the way they did. It really is more him than me, but it was difficult.

Everything  with that moved at a pace I wasn’t really okay with, so last night’s date went pretty well. We basically talked for about a good three or so hours until the place closed which was nice.

This week is a short one with Thanksgiving coming up. I would probably agree to hanging out again. The biggest hurdle of actually meeting is now done with, so it’s now  time to see what happens next. 

Always,
Diana

Hair Makeover!

I’ve talked a lot about makeovers and resetting my life. If you really think about it, the idea is a major process. The best way see yourself in a positive way is to feel good about it.

A simple hair change can do wonders!

It’s been about two moths since I’ve gotten my hair done from a regular touch up. This time around I’m making a more drastic change. It’s not that I’m ashamed of how I look. It’s just fun playing around with different styles. The only problem is being able to find the perfect hair stylist and trust that person completely.

I’ve been in San Diego for years and never had somebody to go to consistently. Luckily, I met the best hair stylist this year! She’s the only one I’ve found since living here that I keep going back to. I’ve set up appointments with her since July, and I love how my hair turns out every single time.

If you’re in the San Diego area, feel free to contact me, and I will definitely recommend you to her.

Check out the before and after! My hair is bleached and was dyed with more of a subtle reddish-purple before, but it turned super brassy after two months.

Rainy Days.

Some cooler weather has finally hit Southern California. I may be born and raised with a love for the sunshine, but I absolutely adore it when it rains. Jumping in puddles is one of my favorite things to do.

I wasn’t very practical about my boots though. They are not waterproof. Luckily, it was a work day and was indoors for the most part. Today is also the first time I’ve worn these boots at my current office, and they clicker-clacked all about on the hardwood floors. I’m one out of the very few people who walk back and forth a lot in my office. It was pretty amusing just knowing that my co-workers could hear me wandering about.

I should also mention my current obsession with midi-rings. Life has been less digital  because of my job and attempting to develop real relationships with people. My interests in a lot of things have changed. The decision to start over mostly applied to my own mental being, but I have been on a mission to cheer myself up with a few shopping sprees within the past couple of months.

All of that includes an influx of new additions to my wardrobe. Without giving away too much detail, a lot of my hopes were crushed and was let down in heartbreaking ways by a few people whom I trusted completely.  I was not happy about anything, and that is just not me.

The goal is to see the world with the glass half full. I would like to be able to enter the next year with a new perspective. A person should feel good about oneself to feel happy and positive about life no matter what. The choices we make whether it’s a big life altering decisions or a small thing like deciding on what to wear can make a difference on how we feel and see the world.

If you would like to see where I pieces of my outfit from, be sure to continue reading for the information.

Always,
Diana

…National Men’s Day?

Today has been a very interesting day, and it all started out when I checked emails this morning.

American Apparel had some pretty clever advertising with International Men’s Day. I seriously thought it was a joke because I nearly choked on air from laughing after I read the subject line.

Before anybody starts thinking the worst, let me clarify that it does not make me a pervert for opening the email. I have a background with writing, marketing, social media, and researching. Anything can be “sexy,” and it can sell. Someone from a long time ago told me that everyone does have a dirty mind, but there are not a lot of people who are open about provocative topics.

American Apparel definitely knows how to captivate their target audience, and they do an incredible job with their marketing and advertising tactics. It is very attention grabbing I give them full props on succeeding with that. They were even able to target men and capitalize on it.

The ad did make me curious to see if there is an International Women’s Day. I believe in equality, so I found it a bit unfair. I changed my mind the instant I found out women do get a that falls on March 8th. That day will be here in no time. It amazes me to how quickly time passes.

Anyway, my coffee is starting to wear off. Inspiration to write is everywhere now, and I will do my best to keep up with posts no matter what.

Always,
Diana

Welcome, Darlings.

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”

That bit from The Walrus and The Carpenter by Lewis Carroll been stuck in my head all day, but it is time for me to literally talk of things.

A few revolutionizing chain of events have happened recently that has pushed me to just go with this project in full swing. My persona is pretty timid and very compliant. There are so many things I would love to be able to do, but I always seems to be held back by something. I felt like I needed more freedom to express myself without any fear or consequences.

I felt like hit rock bottom a few months ago and was stuck in every possible way with barely any support to keep me up. It was difficult to open up. It felt like something terrible happened every single time I tried and kept reverting back to keeping everything to myself.

The idea of a pen name was spot on perfect. It just clicks and almost makes me feel I could do anything. If you are curious, I drew inspiration for the name of my project from Peter Pan. Every single one of us has one chance to make the time we spent as amazing as possible.

We all grow up and go through life each  six-degrees apart from one another. This is my experience, and you are welcome to follow my journey.

Always,
Diana