“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” Abraham Lincoln
Today is Mother’s Day. To me, it is simply a reminder that mine is no longer here…
My family and I will be going on the third anniversary of her passing in July. It has gotten easier as time goes by. The only exception is when there is a whole day dedicated to all the moms in the world. There are plenty of other wonderful mommies that are in my life. I am glad to know all of them and love all of them dearly, but I would give anything just to hang out with my Mama
If you know me well, I hardly go to church. I knew that Mother’s Day was coming up and planned to go and light a candle for my mom because I was unable to visit her grave today. My siblings and I were her most prized possessions, and she talked about us when she could. I woke up really early, dressed up nicely, and had a few moments to pay my respect towards the one person that brought me into this world. I did as much as I possibly could for her to make her proud.
I honestly wanted to do my best in trying to get through the day because it was going to be a bit difficult with everything everywhere about mothers. She would have asked me over a month ago what I would be getting her and to take extra time off so my visit would be longer, but I did cry a couple of times throughout the day simply because I love and miss her that much.
There are no words to explain that missing part of my life that I want back. I am very lucky to have a family as close as mine. Other people do find it a little odd when I mention how close we all are, but I think that is what makes us unique. I am truly grateful and very blessed that I grew up with such an amazing mom.
Last year, I spent Mother’s Day visiting home. I did not have that luxury this year, so I had no idea what to expect without being around my family. I did make sure to have some plans throughout the day. It was to be at the church early in the morning, grab a coffee at my current favorite café with a friend, chat with someone about freelancing, and then help out a bit at Farmer’s Market. Distractions were necessary, and people surprised me with the sweetest things that I did not expect at all.
I am not going to lie, but 2014 has been a rough year so far. The one good thing that I love is how fortunate I am to have met so many genuinely kind people this year. It is definitely something I am not used to, but it was nice to be told so many nice things. All the kindness, smiles, and care made me feel so much better by the time I got home.
The whole experience I had today has made me realize that it is okay to be sad, yet there is a lot to be happy about. Some people got to hear about my mom, and I got to hear about others’.
It does not matter whether yours has passed, the relationship is estranged, or you are not nearly as close to mom as I was to mine. I sincerely hope you have somebody in your life that has made a huge impact on you that makes you want to do awesome things for them. That is what matters more, and it comes from the heart.
I am pretty young and idealistic, but nothing beats feeling happy.
I tend to forget to upload outfits sometimes. Here is an accumulation of a few since the beginning of the year. They are arranged from newest to oldest. Feel free to check out the post for all four collages 🙂 Fashion is fun! Collage #1: – Outfit #1 (left) Cropped Long Sleeve Gray Sweater Blue & White Polka Dot Maxi Skirt Mint Green Belt > all pieces are from Forever 21 – Outfit #2 (right) White Long Sleeve Textured Sweater Floral Shorts AX Watch: http://bit.ly/OAfPaw (Item is unavailable.) Braided Brown Belt > all clothing pieces are from Forever 21 Neutral Ankle Boots from Target Collage #2: – Outfit #1 (left) Button Down Plaid Shirt from Marshalls White Layer Tank Top from Cotton On Basic Black Leggings from Love Culture Neutral Nine West Flats from TJ Maxx – Outfit #2 (center) Gray Half Sleeve Top from Gap Maxi Dress from Cotton On Steve Madden Western Inspired Boots – Outfit #3 (right) Red Long Sleeve Cropped Sweater Black Faux Leather Skirt > all clothing pieces are from Forever 21 Neutral Ankle Boots from Target Continue reading
I know that I have been pretty MIA from the blogging world for a while now, and a lot has happened in the year of 2014.
There are no updates in terms of relationships, but there are two news flashes I need to share. One is that I officially moved out of the boring old suburbia neighborhood of Mira Mesa over to the ever-growing hipster are of South Park in San Diego. The other is that I got let go from my former company back in late January.
The move was the best decision I ever made since living in San Diego. It has definitely made being let go a lot easier because I somewhat have a better support system now. I was not really in shock, but I was pretty heartbroken over the idea of not having a job. I am still looking and not having a job saddens me all the time. It is incredibly frustrating when others consistently ask me how the job hunt is. There is probably a long list of profanities I would rather use, but it honestly sucks.
I have had three really weak moments since unemployment. As much as I did not want to, I broke down crying because my heart was just broken. I did know that not having a job was going to be difficult and have been handling it pretty well. Sometimes we cannot control what is going on. That is that part that ended up hurting the most.
Job hunting all the time is pretty much a given. Luckily, I have been using my spare time figuring out who I am as a person and seeing what to do with my life. It is still a work in progress. I barely put any effort towards getting into a relationship again. There was one recently, but it is not the best time for either one of us right now.
I think the only reason to why I am writing today is because I am feeling a little upset about not having a job. This is enough of a tangent today. I will do my best to get more updates in with my current sporadic schedule. We will see what happens as the year continues.
We all have moments of defeat, and it’s difficult to get back up when we’re knocked down sometimes. I am guilty of doing things on this list. It’s nice to have a little reminder in how to be a better you. This is honestly the best post I’ve come across in a long time.
I highly recommend for anybody to read it.
Happy 2014! I know I’ve been slacking on my updates, but this is seriously one of the most hilarious things that has ever happened to me. This was the text that I received today after I asked if he wanted to borrow Season One of Game of Thrones.
If you read any of the posts I have made in 2013, I went on a blind date before Thanksgiving. I have nothing against him. He is a nice guy, but he didn’t try at all. Honestly, I felt like I was wasting my time even trying to talk to somebody who made zero effort to hang out. I am not heartbroken at all or feeling sorry for myself.
The only other time we hung out was right after Christmas. I personally didn’t even know that we were “dating.” Does that make me a bad person? I hope I didn’t come off as heartless or anything. It’s a completely sincere reply back. I can’t be in the wrong here.
I just find the situation extremely funny, and I don’t know why. He does get to keep a good guy reputation though. There was a point where I thought I was only attracted to the jerks in the world, and I would never get treated the way I deserve to be treated. It proves he isn’t a jackass. I don’t really care whether his apology is sincere.
It would be fantastic to have a new friend that has the same birthday as me. There were no expectations when I went on the blind date and when we hung out the second time. Everything is perfectly okay, and I’ve been talking to other people anyway. A gal can’t wait forever you know. I am over pleasing other people. Too many people have taken advantage of my kindness and generosity. It’s time to let my inner bitch out!
This year is definitely about making me happy. It may sound selfish, but we all need to find out what makes us happy and stick with it. I am extremely excited about this year, and I hope the feeling lasts. The best part is that I am in a process of moving to a new neighborhood, so there’s a lot of adventure out there for me. It’s in a fantastic location, and I am looking forward to meeting a lot of new people.
A lot of wonderful things has happened since I’ve last posted on here. If I am being truthful, I don’t think I feel heartbroken because I think I might really like another person anyway. I don’t want to give a lot of information away, but here’s a quick blurb about him – He is from Spain and is a Post-Doctoral Fellow. A doctor plus a foreign accent is an instant panty dropper!
Don’t judge me for saying that. I swear that I’m not a gold digger or anything. He is a lot older than my usual potentials, but he is one of the nicest people I have met recently and is probably a lot more real than most. The holidays are the worst when you meet someone new, but thank goodness for technology! Even though there’s a pretty big time difference, we talk to each other a lot even though he went back home for the holidays for two weeks. He got sick right after he got to Spain, and when I mentioned being sick he said he’d rather be sick for me. That was really sweet to say. I think that he might actually be good for me because he is a little older and culturally different from most guys I like.
He’s adorable though. I was surprised when he actually messaged me on New Years at midnight in Spain to tell me it’s a message from 2014 to 2013. I am a little excited that he flies back tomorrow, but I don’t know if we’ll have time to hang out. It’s a little sad, and I’ve even mentioned it to him. In a week, he has to fly out to Taiwan next Monday because he was invited to give a talk there and will be gone for another week. I have a ton of things to do because I am moving. My official move-in date is January 10th, so I’ve scrambled all weekend and will be frantic again during the week with packing. He did offer to help me move, but I refuse to let him.
We will definitely see how things work out, but I think I have gone on enough of a tangent. It’s terrible to keep making promises if they can’t be kept. Hopefully, I will be able to get more posts on this blog. If you have any topic suggestions, feel free to leave a comment. I would love to be able to write a bit more opinionated things!